¡Hola! Soy el Padre Pionono. Nací en Santa Fé, Granada. Soy el consejero espiritual de Manolo.
Faher Pianono was born in Santa Fe. He studied in the seminary in Pamplona twenty years ago. Now Father Pianono works as a priest in a hospital in the mornings and as a barman in a pub called ”Earthly Paradise” in the evenings. He is also one of the owners of the pub.
El padre Pianono nació en Santa Fé. Estudió en el seminario en Pamplona hace veinte años. Ahora el padre Pianono trabaja como cura en un hospital por las mañanas y como camarero en un pub llamado “Paraíso Terrenal” por las noches. Es también uno de los dueños del pub.
Six months ago Manolo fell into a depression and went to Earthly Paradise to try and shake it off. He met Carmelo, Pater, Bert and Caroline there. They all hold regular therapy sessions conducted by Father Pianono. They normally use “maria” in order to relax.
Hace seis meses Manolo cayó en una depresión y fue a Paraíso Terrenal para intentar salir de ella. Ahí conoció a Carmelo, Pater, Bert y Caroline. Todos ellos celebran regularmente sesiones de terapia dirigidas por el padre Pianono. Normalmente usan “maria” para relajarse.
The first time Manolo went to these sessions he was very surprised by it all, but now he likes it very much because everybody shares their emotions, music and alcohol
La primera vez que Manolo fue a estas sesiones se sorprendió mucho por todo ello, pero ahora le gustan mucho porque todo el mundo comparte sus emociones, su música y su alcohol.
Hola, me llamo Julián. Soy agente inmobiliario y vivo en Marbella.
After Manolo met Lisa, a beautiful, vuloptuous doctor who is going to the same conference in Edinburgh, they got on so well he decided to rent an apartment so they could get to know each other a little better. The following dialogue takes place in Julian’s real estate agency in Marbella.
Después de que Manolo conociera a Lisa, una bella y voluptuosa doctora que va a la misma conferencia en Edinburgo, se llevaron tan bien que decidió alquilar un apartamento para que pudieran conocerse el uno al otro un poco mejor. El siguiente diálogo tiene lugar en la inmobiliaria de Julián en Marbella.
Manolo: Bueno, me gustaría alquilar un apartmento en Marbella.
Julian: Ah….! You’ve come to just the right place then! What did you have in mind? A large apartment overlooking the sea? We have some new developments available at the moment.
No, no… Estaba pensando en algo pequeño… Un sólo dormitorio será suficiente, y si tiene vistas al mar eso sería perfecto.
Julian: Ah, right! I think I’ve got just the right thing for you here… one bedrom, large kitchen, large terrace and there’s a school nearby in case you hook up with a lady and decide to have kids in the future!
Ah, bien! Creo que tengo justo lo adecuado aquí… Un dormitorio, cocina grande, terraza grande y hay un colegio cerca por si se junta con alguna mujer y deciden tener hijos en el futuro!
Manolo: Well, I’ve already got a whole bunch of kids back in Málaga… It’s not the actual result I’m looking for with this apartment but the process rather, if you see what I mean…
Manolo: Bueno, ya tengo un montón de niños en Málaga… No es el resultado en sí lo que estoy buscando con este apartamento sino el proceso, no sé si me entiende…
Julian (a puzzled look on his face): Ah, so your wife and kids will not be joining you then?
Julián (una expresión de perplejidad en su cara): Ah, entonces su esposa e hijos no se van a unir a usted?
Manolo: I most certainly hope not! Listen, I just need a one bedroom apartment, no kitchen or maybe just a kitchenette since their won’t be much cooking going on, or at least not in the kitchen anyway, a bathroom and a large terrace, preferebly with a jacuzzy, in a low profile area. I’ll just be spending a couple of afternoons a week there.
Manolo: Espero que no! Escuche, sólo necesito un apartamento de un dormitorio, sin cocina o quizá sólo una cocina americana ya que no se va a cocinar mucho, o al menos no en la cocina, un cuarto de baño y una terraza grande, preferentemente con un jacuzzy, en una zona poco conocida. Sólo voy a pasar una par de tardes ahí.
Julian: Ah! Ok, now I get you…! Right…. I’m sure I’ll be able to find something suitable for you and your er… Lady friend. While we’re at it… She wouldn’t happen to have an unattached girlfriend…? My ex just dumped me.
Ah! Vale, ahora le pillo…! Bien… Estoy seguro de que podremos encontrar algo adecuado para usted y su mmm…. Amiga. Y ya que estamos… No tendrá por casualidad una amiga que esté sin compromiso…? Mi ex me acaba de dejar.
Hello, I’m Manolo’s boss, the head of urology. I’m the girlfriend of the medical director of the hospital where Manolo works. Manolo is a terrible doctor!
Manolo: Do you remember our first Pina Colada? show
M: ¿Te acuerdas de nuestra primera Piña Colada?
Candela: Yes, I remember perfectly, but I don’t want to talk about it. They are very bad memories for me. Now I know what you are really like, then I didn’t know you at all. show
C: Sí, me acuerdo perfectamente, pero no quiero hablar de ello. Son malos recuerdos para mí. Ahora sí sé como eres, en aquel entonces no te conocía nada.
M: We were young then, those were good times! Don’t you think? By the way, would you like another drink? show
M: Entonces éramos jóvenes, ¡fueron buenos tiempos! ¿No crees? A todo esto, ¿quieres otra copa?
C: No thanks!!!!! The last time you said that, I accepted. The result was the twins!!!!!!!!!!
C: ¡¡¡¡¡NO GRACIAS!!! La última vez que dijiste eso, acepté. ¡¡¡Y el resultado fueron gemelos!!!
M: Don’t worry about that Candela, I had a vasectomy last year. I only shoot blanks now! show
M: No te preocupes por eso, Candela. Me hice una vasectomía el año pasado.
Así que lanzo penaltis pero no meto ni un gol.
C: That is not the question Manolo. I don’t want to relive the past. For me, you are just a bad dream. Anyway, I thought you came here to speak to me about the twins. show
C: Ese no es el tema Manolo. No quiero revivir el pasado. Para mí, tan solo eres un mal sueño. De todas maneras, creía que venías para hablarme de los gemelos.
M: That’s what I told Maria, but really, do the twins have any problems? show
M: Eso es lo que le dije a María, pero en serio, ¿tienen los gemelos algún problema?
C: It’s me who has the problem. Your son is just like you. He refuses to study, he just wants to play in a samba band, chat up the girls, drink all night and sleep all day. show
C: Soy yo el que tiene el problema. Tu hijo es igual que tú. Se niega a estudiar, lo único que quiere es unirse a un grupo de samba, charlar con chicas, beber toda la noche y dormir todo el día.
C: What are you going to do about it Manolo?????? (shouting) show
C:¿¿¿¿Y qué vas a hacer Manolo???? (gritando)
M: It’s not MY fault! He lives with YOU! I am a good example for him. I work hard and I am the best doctor in my hospital. You can ask my boss Mc Arena………………………. show
M: ¡No es MI culpa! ¡Él vive CONTIGO! Yo soy un buen ejemplo para él. Trabajo duro y soy el mejor médico de mi hospital. Puedes preguntarle a mi jefa,
la Srta. Mc Arena…
Just at this moment, Mc Arena arrives with her boyfriend, the Medical Director. (they are attending an International Urology congress in Rio). show
En ese preciso momento, Mc Arena llega con su novio, el Director Médico. (Están asistiendo a un congreso internacional sobre Urología en Río)
Mc A: MANOLO! I thought you had a serious problem with your son, and here you are drinking with some woman on the beach! show
Mc A: ¡MANOLO! Pensaba que tenía un grave problema con su hijo, y helo aquí, ¡bebiendo con una chica en la playa!
Mc A: Don’t bother coming back to the hospital Manolo. You are sacked!!!! show
Mc A: No se moleste en volver por el hospital Manolo. ¡Está despedido!
M: Thank you Mc Arena!!!!
Barman! The drinks are on me! I was just thinking, it’s time for a change. Maybe I’ll stay here and look for a job in Rio. show
M: ¡¡Gracias Mc Arena!! ¡Camarero! ¡Yo invito!Estaba yo pensando… que ya es hora de un cambio. Quizás me quede aquí y busque trabajo en Rio.
C:Nooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! show
Hello, I’m Super Manolé. I’m an Andalusian super hero. I used to live in a beautiful villa in Marbella but now I live in Alahurin de la Torre. I love flying over Malaga, Granada, and Seville, just to see what Manolo is doing. By the way, have you seen Manolo lately?
Hola, soy Super Manolé. Soy un súper héroe andaluz. Vivía en un precioso chalet en Marbella pero ahora vivo en Alahurin de la Torre. Me encanta sobrevolar Málaga, Granada y Sevilla, solo para ver qué anda haciendo Manolo. Por cierto, ¿Has visto a Manolo últimamente
Hello. My name is “The Doctor”. I’m Manolo’s dog. I’m a big and good dog. I speak a lot. I really like cakes, but I also love lentils, pizza and women. I’ve lived with Manolo since 2006. I’m a real bloodsucker. I really like making Manolo mad.
Hola! Mi nombre es “El Doctor”. Soy el perro de Manolo. Soy un perro grande y bueno. Hablo mucho. Me gustan mucho las tartas pero me encantan las lentejas, la pizza y las mujeres. Vivo con Manolo desde el año 2006. Soy un verdadero parásito. Me encanta cabrear a Manolo.
Hello, my name is Candela Contreras. I’m 35 years old. I was a taxi driver in Malaga. I’m Manolo’s last lover. We have 2 children. I live in Brazil now.
Hola, me llamo Candela Contreras. Tengo 35 años. Fui taxista en Málaga. Soy la última amante de Manolo. Tenemos dos niños. Vivo en Brasil ahora.
When Manolo met Candela, he fell in love, but he didn’t want to leave his wife. Candela also had a husband. Manolo proposed that he and Candela should lead a double life. Candela and Manolo were loose people. They liked open relationships. They met every Monday, because Monday was her day off.
Candela and Manolo had a son and a daughter (twins).
The children lived with Candela. Candela’s husband thought that they were the fruit of their love.
One day Candela’s husband began to suspect the relationship because the twins grew beards. Also, he thought that Candela was different in bed. He realized that the taxi used a lot of petrol on Mondays.
He decided he needed a woman or maybe a man. Then he thought his best idea was to go to a monastery. He needed to walk in the cloister and think about this. He knew the Pryor and he loved him. He fell in love. It was a spiritual love.
They made a plan to take revenge on Candela. They studied a way to make her confess. They put a gun to her head. But the gun was empty.
Candela ran away to Brazil with the children. She took on another personality with the federal bureau. The End
Hola, mi nombre es Carmelo Fernández. Antes me llamaba Lola. Soy especialista en cirugía estética. Fui la primera novia de Manolo. Ahora soy su mejor amigo.
Lola was born in Malaga. She lived there until her father was transferred to Granada when she was 20.
She was a receptionist and, while she was working, she studied to become a surgeon. She operated on herself in IAVANTE and she became Carmelo. Last year he opened his own aesthetic clinic.
In his free time, Carmelo works with children in a hospital, he is one of the many clown doctors who work in San Cecilio’s Hospital. Carmelo brings a smile to the faces of sick children!
Now, Carmelo is a real metrosexual. In his free time, he likes to go out and do exercise. He usually goes to the gymnasium five days a week. He also plays squash. He’s interested in cars, fashion and he’s a fanatic of technological gadgets.
Carmelo has been married 3 times. He has no children. Currently, he has a girlfriend. Her name is Inga. She’s from Norway and she works as a flight attendant.
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